This has become a theme that I have been reminded of again and again recently.
Maybe itʻs because of my current focus on learning about the mind-body connection, which requires pausing to check in with physical responses to allow an opportunity to identify the link to the emotional.
But then a friend had a heart-health scare that has happened before. When her tests all came back clear (thank God – – but also understandably frustrating, because WHY…), she was sharing with me that she knew there was something behind these incidents that she needs to address. She just needed to LISTEN to what her body was trying to tell her.
You and me both, sister…
Iʻve been relearning this lesson for myself this past year as I realized I had been ignoring some clear communication that all was not well! I think because I had a base commitment to selfcare, I allowed myself to become lazy in my listening. And I found myself out-of-balance and needing additional support. And then in seeking that support, I realized how easy it is to become distracted from listening by ACTION in trying to find answers or solutions. Action can feel so much more – – satisfying. But it can also be such a serious waste of time!
I think another way of thinking of this is trusting your own intuition – or inner knowing. I am a FIRM believer that we are each our own best expert about our individual bodies and well-being. And if you are a parent, you are also that for your child! I can tell you of sooo many times when I followed my intuition, and later learned how aligned I was with Science. Part of LISTENING is learning to TRUST YOURSELF.
So, okay. This is all great. But as my friend and I discussed – – HOW do you listen to your body and connect to your own intuition?? Because itʻs not always easy! And itʻs something we have to work on everyday.
Here is some of what Iʻve learned:
HOW TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
- Engage your senses. This is where mindfulness practices can be really helpful, because they are all about paying attention to what you see, hear, feel, taste, & smell. Notice your reactions – tensions/pain, irritation, pleasure, things you didnʻt realize you were missing, triggers, energy level, etc. This noticing becomes a conversation.
- Check in on emotions. We are so busy that we donʻt even realize HOW MANY emotions we all process every single day. The vast majority of us either just riding the crazy waves OR shoving the feelings aside because we donʻt have the time or desire to deal with them. But emotions are a major way our bodies communicate with us.Stop and acknowledge the feeling – whether good or “bad.” Ask yourself why that emotion came up. If you donʻt like it, acknowledge and honor where it came from and ask yourself how you can be better supported. If you do like it, ask yourself how to feel more of that! This is listening.
- Correct the false messaging. MORE is not always better. Unless that is truly what you need. Maybe sacrificing sleep or healthy eating or family time isnʻt worth the long-term consequences. In fact – checking in with yourself to determine whether you should or should not push harder or do more can actually improve your results! If I am going to practice yoga, I try to do a quick self scan to determine whether I need vinyasa, hatha, restorative, or even nidra. If I am exhausted before 9pm, why not get that extra hour of sleep? If Iʻm hungry, I should eat something nourishing. Paying attention means recognizing the narratives that are embedded in our minds and choosing to change that thinking.
- Get quiet. My yoga teacher always says the most neglected mudra is two hands over the mouth. And she is so right! You canʻt listen until you stop creating noise. The noise could be audible or mental chatter, but it can also be distractions. There are many ways to get quiet. I like to get immersed in nature, where I can literally feel the rest of the world peel away from my soul. Also – try practicing meditation or Yoga Nidra (yoga for the brain). I like the Insight Time app for support on all types of practices! Binaural beats or mantra help to calm rushing thoughts. Sometime doing a journaling dump can help your brain fully process and create a “clean slate” (and itʻs also a great way to track patterns). Find what works for you to quiet the noise so you can HEAR.
- Clean up the clutter. Too much junk is distracting. Picture an overly full room that is completely distracting and sound absorbing. Maybe this means cleaning up your environment at home or work, or cleaning up some relationships and boundaries. Maybe itʻs cleaning up your nourishment – the food and drinks you are consuming or even the visual content (media & books). Give yourself room to connect with yourself.
- Respect yourself. This is where the trust comes in. Recognize areas of self-judgment and criticism. Those areas where you are harsh with yourself are often exactly what you should pay attention to as messages for change. Increased frustration with ourselves is usually a good sign that we need more support. Find a new doctor, or research some alternative therapy like massage, acupuncture, etc. Start seeing a mental health therapist. Invest in the fitness coach. Also ask yourself if there have been any significant physical or mental/emotional changes and get some tests to make sure you arenʻt lacking basic nutrients. Listening means accepting, validating, and supporting yourself as you are.
I hope it is clear that the goal of all of this is to give yourself what you need.
It means prioritizing self-care – – or maybe re-prioritizing HOW you selfcare. Sometimes we arenʻt giving ourselves the right kind of care. That was part of what I realized over the past few months.
My needs had changed. But I hadnʻt listened. Iʻm listening now.
“And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’
It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’”
~Nayyirah Waheed
xo
Danielle