Uluwehi Blog
Listening to My Body
This has become a theme that I have been reminded of again and again recently.
Maybe itʻs because of my current focus on learning about the mind-body connection, which requires pausing to check in with physical responses to allow an opportunity to identify the link to the emotional.
But then a friend had a heart-health scare that has happened before. When her tests all came back clear (thank God – – but also understandably frustrating, because WHY…), she was sharing with me that she knew there was something behind these incidents that she needs to address. She just needed to LISTEN to what her body was trying to tell her.
You and me both, sister…
Iʻve been relearning this lesson for myself this past year as I realized I had been ignoring some clear communication that all was not well! I think because I had a base commitment to selfcare, I allowed myself to become lazy in my listening. And I found myself out-of-balance and needing additional support. And then in seeking that support, I realized how easy it is to become distracted from listening by ACTION in trying to find answers or solutions. Action can feel so much more – – satisfying. But it can also be such a serious waste of time!
I think another way of thinking of this is trusting your own intuition – or inner knowing. I am a FIRM believer that we are each our own best expert about our individual bodies and well-being. And if you are a parent, you are also that for your child! I can tell you of sooo many times when I followed my intuition, and later learned how aligned I was with Science. Part of LISTENING is learning to TRUST YOURSELF.
So, okay. This is all great. But as my friend and I discussed – – HOW do you listen to your body and connect to your own intuition?? Because itʻs not always easy! And itʻs something we have to work on everyday.
Here is some of what Iʻve learned:
HOW TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
- Engage your senses. This is where mindfulness practices can be really helpful, because they are all about paying attention to what you see, hear, feel, taste, & smell. Notice your reactions – tensions/pain, irritation, pleasure, things you didnʻt realize you were missing, triggers, energy level, etc. This noticing becomes a conversation.
- Check in on emotions. We are so busy that we donʻt even realize HOW MANY emotions we all process every single day. The vast majority of us either just riding the crazy waves OR shoving the feelings aside because we donʻt have the time or desire to deal with them. But emotions are a major way our bodies communicate with us.Stop and acknowledge the feeling – whether good or “bad.” Ask yourself why that emotion came up. If you donʻt like it, acknowledge and honor where it came from and ask yourself how you can be better supported. If you do like it, ask yourself how to feel more of that! This is listening.
- Correct the false messaging. MORE is not always better. Unless that is truly what you need. Maybe sacrificing sleep or healthy eating or family time isnʻt worth the long-term consequences. In fact – checking in with yourself to determine whether you should or should not push harder or do more can actually improve your results! If I am going to practice yoga, I try to do a quick self scan to determine whether I need vinyasa, hatha, restorative, or even nidra. If I am exhausted before 9pm, why not get that extra hour of sleep? If Iʻm hungry, I should eat something nourishing. Paying attention means recognizing the narratives that are embedded in our minds and choosing to change that thinking.
- Get quiet. My yoga teacher always says the most neglected mudra is two hands over the mouth. And she is so right! You canʻt listen until you stop creating noise. The noise could be audible or mental chatter, but it can also be distractions. There are many ways to get quiet. I like to get immersed in nature, where I can literally feel the rest of the world peel away from my soul. Also – try practicing meditation or Yoga Nidra (yoga for the brain). I like the Insight Time app for support on all types of practices! Binaural beats or mantra help to calm rushing thoughts. Sometime doing a journaling dump can help your brain fully process and create a “clean slate” (and itʻs also a great way to track patterns). Find what works for you to quiet the noise so you can HEAR.
- Clean up the clutter. Too much junk is distracting. Picture an overly full room that is completely distracting and sound absorbing. Maybe this means cleaning up your environment at home or work, or cleaning up some relationships and boundaries. Maybe itʻs cleaning up your nourishment – the food and drinks you are consuming or even the visual content (media & books). Give yourself room to connect with yourself.
- Respect yourself. This is where the trust comes in. Recognize areas of self-judgment and criticism. Those areas where you are harsh with yourself are often exactly what you should pay attention to as messages for change. Increased frustration with ourselves is usually a good sign that we need more support. Find a new doctor, or research some alternative therapy like massage, acupuncture, etc. Start seeing a mental health therapist. Invest in the fitness coach. Also ask yourself if there have been any significant physical or mental/emotional changes and get some tests to make sure you arenʻt lacking basic nutrients. Listening means accepting, validating, and supporting yourself as you are.
I hope it is clear that the goal of all of this is to give yourself what you need.
It means prioritizing self-care – – or maybe re-prioritizing HOW you selfcare. Sometimes we arenʻt giving ourselves the right kind of care. That was part of what I realized over the past few months.
My needs had changed. But I hadnʻt listened. Iʻm listening now.
“And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’
It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’”
~Nayyirah Waheed
xo
Danielle
Shadow Work
Emotional health is a pesky thing.
I call it SHADOW WORK.
Sometimes itʻs elusive, avoiding a clear view or shape that we can grasp. And it shifts and contorts with every turn – making it difficult to recognize the what we are truly seeing reflected.
The more we pursue it, the more indistinct it can appear to be.
I donʻt know about you, but right now I am picturing the scene from Disneyʻs Peter Pan, in the Darling Nursery when Wendy finds Peter attempting to capture his escaped shadow! His panic over losing his shadow is something I can feel. Because as every science fiction tale has surmised – without a shadow, how do you know you are truly alive?
Just like shadows, emotions reflect our state of health.
But also like another shadow analogy – – they may also be the hiding place of our most terrifying enemies and fears.
There is a growing global perspective that unresolved, or unprocessed, emotions are the root of most (if not all) poor health conditions. This is something that has been connected consistently with unexplainable chronic pain or auto-immune conditions – – with fascinating recovery stories from simple efforts to recognize and release past emotions after years of TRYING EVERYTHING.
I canʻt remember when I first learned about this phenomenon. I had already been working with alternative health practitioners to address my own ongoing challenges, including unexplainable back pain. Alternative – or holistic – health practices focus on treating the WHOLE BODY – – physical / mental / emotional / spiritual – – and every visit and treatment definitely touched on it all! I also had several practitioners tell me that they thought my challenges were rooted in emotional and spiritual health. And at the time, as a young adult and dedicated Christian I was horrified to be told that my health problems stemmed from those areas in which I was so committed.
I didnʻt understand what they meant or what to do about it. But over the years, Iʻve slowly learned…
I said earlier that there is a growing global perspective about this understanding of the importance of emotional health. But it is actually NOT new to many parts of the world where people are still rooted in indigenous cultures. These cultures stem from a history that is deeply intwined with living in harmony with nature – – the source of health. Their lives were not ruled by the inhibitions and societal norms of our lives today. And they VALUED all emotions as GOOD, including those we tend to dread such as anger, grief, and fear. When those emotions came with the natural flow of life, they embraced them fully, coming together to spend TIME sharing the experience of the flow of feelings.
They also incorporated daily practices in their lives that we have finally realized actually contribute to significant brain health! I think we imagine ancient indigenous cultures in a constant state of fight or flight, sympathetic state – – but the opposite is actually reality. Every land-based culture around the world cultivated daily practices of meditation, dance, chanting, and grounding connection to the earth that we recognize today as somatic practices that put us in a parasympathetic state, which is the foundation of all health.
So how do we get back to that?
Our culture has conditioned us to AVOID NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. But our bodies are designed to PROCESS them. When we avoid rather than process, the bodyʻs response is to STORE those feelings until we are ready – and safe – to complete the processing. Our physical self works hard to protect us by storing – or hiding – feelings that we donʻt know what to do with until they become a physical presence on a cellular level.
There are many sources that provide a much better explanation of this perspective than I can share here. One of the first mind-blowing books I read was “Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection” by John E. Sarno, MD. I purchased the book after reading a post by a wellness blogger whom I regularly followed when he wrote an almost embarrassed-tone account of a surreal experience he had of immediate healing after reading this book. Since I was also suffering from back pain, I wanted to test this for myself! I read the book, which is a fascinating account of a doctor who began to notice the connection between mind (or emotions) and body and taught his patients to follow that connection for “miraculous” healing.
I wish I could tell you I was also miraculously healed. But I am a SLOW MOVER. Over the next few years, I continued to explore this connection. I learned about EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE, or TAPPING – – which combines neuro-linguistic programming with stimulation of acupressure meridian points to release emotional blockages.
I actually did experience almost overnight and truly miraculous healing from debilitating back pain (I couldnʻt roll over without extreme pain) after some intense and focused tapping sessions!
There were many other revelations! And then in the past few years of studying Yoga and Ayurveda, I have continued to gain more understanding of the equal importance of caring for our emotional, mental, an spiritual selves as much as we do the physical. Iʻll be honest! My culture has conditioned me to focus on the physical. It is a still a learning curve and requires dedicated work – – but the physical is more tangible and perhaps feels a little more satisfying to pursue than the rest. It is a daily effort to prioritize mindfulness practices that nourish the other three areas enough as well. And there is clearly a deficit after all the years of neglect.
So that is why I FINALLY started seeing a therapist. I realized that I really needed to make these other three components a primary focus rather than a supplemental focus. And I knew that I needed to find a dedicated support person to help me narrow in and to hold me accountable to do the work that needs to be done. Because I DONʻT WANT TO DO IT.
If I am honest – I really, really donʻt want to dig for unresolved past trauma. I really would prefer to just tweak my diet and my exercise and maybe take a new supplement or two and see everything fixed in a few weeks! Is it just me???
But itʻs not going away. Whatever it is! I know or suspect some things that need to be dealt with, and there are some things I frankly would rather not know are there. But they are a part of me – – no matter how elusive or mercurial. Thatʻs why it is SHADOW WORK. And itʻs time to let in the light.
SEEING MY SHADOWS LETS ME KNOW I AM TRULY ALIVE.
What “shadow work” are you doing right now? I hope you will share your journey with me! Letʻs learn from those indigenous cultures who traveled these roads TOGETHER.
xo.
Danielle
** Join me on Instagram, @Uluwehilifestyles, for more conversations about creative and natural lifestyle solutions to grow a beautiful life
There You Are
Do you ever have those moments when you suddenly feel completely in alignment with your SELF? It’s that inner knowing…
THIS is what I am here for. This is who I AM.
This photo is a record of one of those moments for me. I was at an herbal workshop – actually I went to two workshops back to back! – and it just felt so… familiar. I recognized myself in that space. And I started to make some connections to other moments in time when I really felt like ME.
Maybe you’ve experienced that kind of moment too?
As an adult, I have found myself in a number of aligning moments that have immediately linked me back to my childhood. I think many people are most fully themselves as a young child. For most of us, that is when we are most pure and un-influenced by the world’s promotions & pressures. (I say most people, because there are some who had such early struggles that they never had the opportunity to just BE as a child. First self-awareness may occur much later in those cases.) Also for most of us, circumstances or people in life continually pushed conforming expectations on us as we grew up, until we had to dig through many layers as adults in order to figure out – “WHO AM I?”
I AM A CREATIVE.
When I think back to myself as a child… I was super imaginative, always living in a story in my head – or in a book! I was constantly inspired by those stories, and I would – – make stuff. I made a dollhouse out of an old china hutch, and I made doll clothes & costumes out of anything I had. I made an under-the-sea museum. I constantly made little gifts. I used Christmas cookie cutters to trace fabric shapes and hand-sewed stuffed ornaments. I created bookmarks with yarn & fabric scraps – I was making from my early childhood years and into my teens.
As I grew older, I began to define creativity by artistic (drawing/painting) or musical talent – which I don’t have! So I didn’t consider myself “creative,” and honestly – I had begun to stop making things… But then one day, my sister made a comment about how creative I was – using the example of all those gifts I used to make, even though they were simple little things. And in that statement there was this moment of sudden validation and belonging! I thought – you know what, I AM creative! I felt like a piece of me clicked into place – and I suddenly recognized myself more clearly. That moment of recognition from another person brought me home to my SELF. And I started creating.
I AM A HEALER.
It was when I was using a mortar & pestle to prepare herbs for a concoction – at that same workshop I mentioned earlier! As I took my turn and began crushing the aromatic plants, a sense of deja vu came over me.
I felt myself as a child, sitting in the grass with a bowl in my lap and using a rock to crush aromatic plants. And I remembered a little journal from when I was about eight (8) years old, saying something like – “Pound, pound, pound! I am crushing my plants to make medicine.” I know I was serious about that activity! Even at that young age, I had big dreams of saving lives or finding a cure for disease – – of healing. I would pour through my mother’s home remedy books and her big health reference book. I borrowed books from the library and wrote my own reports and research papers. I had my medical college class schedule planned from the age of twelve (12). I wanted to heal.
But then I started to hear messages that other choices would be better – or more “right” for me. So I stopped dreaming of healing, and I tried to learn to become something else.
Years later, in that moment during the workshop – with that mortar & pestle – I KNEW MYSELF again. And I thought, I am a healer! And I started healing.
This is part of life.
We all experience this journey of knowing, un-knowing, and then re-knowing who we are.
I’ve always thought a lot about life purpose. The big question of “why am I here?” that we are all looking to answer… There have been times in my life (almost 40 years – that’s so weird…) when I thought I knew my answer – and even your answer as well! Haha… But if life has taught me anything – it’s that we never completely know the answers at all.
My current perspective of the big “WHY” is that I am here as a completely unique individual – designed exactly for this time and place. Life is a gift to me, and I am also a gift to life!
My purpose is to live life as fully as I can, and as fully ME as I can.
So I am embracing those moments when I fully recognize myself – and making them a daily reality. And I know that when I am living as ME, I am living my purpose.
Have you experienced a moment of self-realization? Or do you think about these whyʻs the way I do? Iʻd love to hear your thoughts.
xo.
Danielle
Finding my path
(spoiler. it’s in front of you.)
I can’t believe 2019 is almost over! Don’t blink after the new year, right??
I took this snapshot at Aiea Loop on New Year’s Day of this year. This view was a representation to me of some inner work I had been doing – all about choosing a clear path, finding the right direction to take to be able to grow that beautiful life I am always talking about…
I am a big dreamer. But I so easily get caught up in the big end destination dream that I fail to move forward. Can anyone relate?
2019 was about learning to focus on the path right in front of me…
This learning was honestly a discipline in a few areas of my life. I really struggled to identify current options that would or could lead to more – or I felt that there were just too many choices! How to know which one to select right now? I experienced the anxiety, stress, fear – all the emotions involved in these big life-directing questions.
This focusing on the path in front of me was a lesson about being present. And I learned that the first step is to embrace the presence with a choice that is right for today. It was time to get focused on what I DID want out of what I could see & grasp in this moment.
This doesn’t mean that I have stopped dreaming big! My dream board is still just as visionary as ever… But I also needed to narrow in for clarity for the NOW. So I learned to maximize lists.
I had observed the value & power of list-making as a life-manifestation or creation tool in my work partner, William. He frequently set goals for himself and put them in writing. Then he would decide on an action strategy to get it done, and he started doing it. His goals could be a fun trip or a major investment or even physical life changes, but I as I watched, I realized that he was using the exact same successful strategy over and over.
I love to learn from other people! So I experimented with William’s methods for myself this year. I thought about what I wanted, narrowed in, and got specific – – and most importantly, I wrote it down and posted those goals where I see them every day. And I just expected them to happen – as I implemented action steps.
Some of those goals felt like major stretches – or I really couldn’t see how on earth I would get there any time soon. But do you know something? I totally attained three (3) of the toughest things on my list within the first half of the year! Starting this blog was another goal that I can now check off, and I am currently working on yet another big item.
As someone who has tended to just feel bound to experiencing life as it happens – this has been a revelation of the creative influence that I have over my own circumstances.
I still have more to learn! I let my list get a bit longer than I think William would – and I wasn’t as specific about a few things. And, of course, those are the areas that I have not seen success in this year… I also still have a lot of work to do in that trusting expectative perspective – oh, and some of the action work… #roomtogrow
To recap – I’ve learned four secrets to finding (creating!) my life path:
Be PRESENT – focus on what is right NOW
While still dreaming big – NARROW IN to be CLEAR on what you want
WRITE IT down – be SPECIFIC and post it on the wall where you will see it
EXPECT what you wrote to be reality – with ACTION-oriented trust
Have you learned anything specific in 2019? Or do you have your own life lesson secrets that you use to achieve big goals – to grow your beautiful life?
Let’s support each other and exchange strategies & stories.
xo
Danielle
I have a life word…
My sisters like to say – “Words are hard.”
Isn’t that the truth? Lol. And I have a story about words today…
Are you one of those people that chooses a “word of the year” for each new year?
If you aren’t familiar with the idea, the concept is to choose a meaningful word that expresses something that you connect with and plan to focus on throughout the next 12 months. Kind of cool, right?
Well. I don’t have a word of the year. I have a LIFE WORD.
This word came out of a season of life when I had experienced several long periods of unemployment. That is another story in itself – but I was really frustrated with what I saw as limitations to bringing in income, as well as struggling to determine a career focus. So I decided to choose a passion that I could develop and share with people, and hopefully also make a profit! Natural living and holistic wellness was the obvious choice. It was my zone.
(BTW – this was also part of what instigated me to start learning about essential oils, which I still love and share today!)
Like all inspired entrepreneurs – I needed a name for my “dream business.” And I wanted that name to be everything! Haha. I wanted it to represent who I am and ALL that I wanted to create. Honestly – I wanted a word that would become a movement for transformation!
I found that word. Although the business idea didn’t develop too far at the time, this word has truly been all of those things that I wanted – for ME. It became the representation of what I have identified as my life purpose.
Because my roots are in Hawai’i, it was really important to me to choose a word from beautiful ‘Olelo Hawai’i (Hawaiian language). I couldn’t think of just one concept in English that worked for me. I don’t remember the details of my search process (I do know that I spent HOURS on it), but I clearly remember the notes I scribbled on a ring of tiny notecards. Some of my concepts & potential “words” reflected my life circumstances at the time, but I kept asking myself – what is most important to me?
I had several specific concepts I wanted included, touching on values, goals, & desires…
Nature, it’s my lens and pattern for life.
Living life to the fullest, both in my potential and being fully ME – who I was created to be.
Beauty, seeing & appreciating it in each moment.
Creating, nature plus my talents to make life even more beautiful.
Celebrating, because it’s all a gift to be received & acknowledged with joy.
This all came out of deep self-reflection! Much of what I wrote was (and still is) what I struggled most to actually make reality – but desired whole-heartedly. So it became even more important…
I remember when I stumbled upon a short ‘Olelo Hawai’i word that caught my attention – and then I suddenly saw that word combined with another – and the concepts of each struck a chord.
ulu : lush, green, vibrant, growing, thriving
and
wehi : beautiful, beauty
But they had to work together. I was trying not to force the language to work for me… I looked up the compound word, and this is what I found:
uluwehi [ooloo-vayhee] : beautiful decorations used to signify a celebration, especially using nature’s green, verdant life as lovely celebratory decor
(This is a summarized concept of the translation – I pictured a beautiful luau, lushly decorated, or even the hula dancers with all of their adornment.)
I had it. I wanted to GROW BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
(A loosely accurate translation, assuming the celebratory significance)
ULUWEHI.
________
It’s been many years since those moments. I thought I was choosing that word for – well, for you. For other people. And it still represents what I want most to offer – what I believe I am meant to offer. But first it was for me.
I have clung to this word when life shook and I struggled to find any meaning at all.
Uluwehi.
It has been a light and a guide when I have paddled through the murkiness of distinguishing my SELF out of the layers of definition, expectation, & suppression that life brings.
Uluwehi.
It has been my mantra to focus my growth & learning and my life goals, my values, my desires.
Uluwehi.
I have become Uluwehi – even while I still struggle at times to live it out. Because I’m still growing beautiful life everyday.
And because I know, through my studies in holistic health, that true transformation comes from full life commitment – this concept evolved into a committment to living a lifestyle.
A creative + natural lifestyle
Grow your beautiful life • ULUWEHILIFESTYLES
lush | vibrant | living | growing | celebrating
Wow! I had a lot to say about this! But I hope I was able to communicate a glimpse of why I am passionate & grateful to be able to share here.
I can’t wait to hear about any words that are or have been special to you. Tell me!
xo
Danielle